The View From 1776

Obama Urges Straight Up-or-Down Vote on Constitution
by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace
(News Fairly Unbalanced.  We Report.  You Decipher)

(2010-03-04) — In an effort to break through bipartisan opposition and public discontent with his latest health insurance reform proposal, President Barack Obama today called on the Senate to “take a final, straight up-or-down vote on the U.S. Constitution.”

“The real obstacle to approval of my health care reform plan is this ancient charter of negative liberties that says what the states and the federal government can’t do to you,” President Obama said, while standing among a group of physicians dressed in white lab coats and fellow constitutional scholars in white powdered wigs.

While the president didn’t use the word ‘reconciliation’ — a parliamentary maneuver allowing majority party leaders to pass bills without tiresome and time-consuming debate — he made his intentions clear.

“The Constitution deserves the same kind of up-or-down vote that the Bush tax cuts received,” Mr. Obama said. “Once we break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the Founding Fathers in the Constitution, we’ll have no problem passing this historic health reform legislation.”

The president assured members of Congress that, “the American people expect us to lead”, and that few would miss the nation’s governing charter when it’s gone.

“It’s not like they have time to read the Constitution or the Declaration anyway,” he added, “what with all the great new shows on TV, and funny stuff on YouTube, Facebook and Twitter.”