Now news media can blame the Bush administration for destroying the entire cosmos by failing to adopt the Kyoto Protocols.
Maggie’s Farm reports on a new, potentially catastrophic effect of global warming: melting of the polar ice cap on Mars!
Recent news articles tell us that scientists (motto: any scare-mongering will do for an additional research grant hand-out) believe that global warming has spread to Mars.
As Al Gore, the world’s climatologist-in-chief, tells us, global warming can be the product only of humans’ misguided proclivities. We must stop using petroleum, shut down our factories (those that haven’t already found cheaper production sites in India and China), and sign up for the Kyoto Protocols (which don’t apply to India, China, and the third-world countries).
Obviously, if global warming is our fault, and hundred-year and thousand-year natural cycles of sunspot activity have nothing to do with it, then sunspot activity can play no role in warming (if there is any) on Mars. That leaves you and your SUV as the culprits.
Write to your Congressional representatives and demand that they make Exxon pay for the destruction of Mars! Join a class-action suit against GM and Ford (to force them mercifully into immediate bankruptcy); there was no warning label on your SUV that using it might be harmful to the Martian climate! Somebody (your insurance company, perhaps?) has to pay for this!
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